As Oscar Wilde once said, “Be Yourself, Everyone
else is taken.” But finding yourself is a tough road. We are constantly
comparing ourselves to each other, judging our life from that of our peers. I
am sure we all got to a point in our life where we asked ourselves this little
question, “Who am I?” And it’s okay if you don’t have the answer, we are all
still searching and learning. You may have heard someone say to you “just be
yourself”, but are you really yourself? It is hard to answer a question when you
don’t even know where to start. To help you start, below are 7 steps which can
hopefully help you find your true self.
1. Discover Yourself
This may sound easy, but it takes a while before you know what you like and dislike. Take time to discover yourself. I don’t mean to sit down and look at yourself in the mirror, although that might help sometimes. But make some time for yourself and listen to that inner voice in your head. Take personality tests and make sure you answer honestly. Discover who you truly are also means being honest with how you feel, be it happiness, sadness, anger, disgust and so on. Allow yourself to do what you want, instead of fearing what others would think. Listen to music, discover your body language, the way you move, the way you talk, the way you laugh, just learn all these little details about yourself and embrace them.
This may sound easy, but it takes a while before you know what you like and dislike. Take time to discover yourself. I don’t mean to sit down and look at yourself in the mirror, although that might help sometimes. But make some time for yourself and listen to that inner voice in your head. Take personality tests and make sure you answer honestly. Discover who you truly are also means being honest with how you feel, be it happiness, sadness, anger, disgust and so on. Allow yourself to do what you want, instead of fearing what others would think. Listen to music, discover your body language, the way you move, the way you talk, the way you laugh, just learn all these little details about yourself and embrace them.
2. Forget the Past
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” This saying by Roy T. Bennett sums up the whole concept of letting go of the past and living in the present. It is unhealthy to constantly be fixated on all the things you did in the past, especially to live and relive your bad experiences. Learn to live in the now and enjoy the moment. Forgive yourself for any bad choices you made and learn to move. Make plans for your future and work towards a better future. You can’t become fully yourself without shredding the past skin you carry with you.
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” This saying by Roy T. Bennett sums up the whole concept of letting go of the past and living in the present. It is unhealthy to constantly be fixated on all the things you did in the past, especially to live and relive your bad experiences. Learn to live in the now and enjoy the moment. Forgive yourself for any bad choices you made and learn to move. Make plans for your future and work towards a better future. You can’t become fully yourself without shredding the past skin you carry with you.
3. Work on Yourself
Work! Work! Work! That’s exactly what your boss tells you and what you need to infuse in your personal life. Nothing happens out of pure luck, hard work is the ladder to success! Just like the hours you put in your work to get a promotion or the time you spent writing and editing your homework, you need to take time and work on your life. The best place to start is to find something you are passionate about. It can be drawing, reading, writing, sports, anything that puts a smile on your face. Put your energy in what you are passionate about. Learn to not compare yourself to others. We are all students of Life and each one of us work at our own pace. Work on your attitude, your behavior, your passion, your dreams, your goals, work on yourself.
Work! Work! Work! That’s exactly what your boss tells you and what you need to infuse in your personal life. Nothing happens out of pure luck, hard work is the ladder to success! Just like the hours you put in your work to get a promotion or the time you spent writing and editing your homework, you need to take time and work on your life. The best place to start is to find something you are passionate about. It can be drawing, reading, writing, sports, anything that puts a smile on your face. Put your energy in what you are passionate about. Learn to not compare yourself to others. We are all students of Life and each one of us work at our own pace. Work on your attitude, your behavior, your passion, your dreams, your goals, work on yourself.
4. Relax
Now I want you to do something, right now. Close your eyes, clear your mind, breathe in and breathe out slowly for a few seconds. Feel better!? Right! Finding yourself means relaxing and taking time for your own inner peace. It also means to be able to laugh at yourself. Don’t be the a**hole in the friends’ group who can’t take a joke or is offended by every little remarks made about him/her. Learn to be funny and laugh, don’t be oversensitive and over-dramatic. And the best way to not be offended or sad all the time is to get in the joke and learn to make fun of yourself. Be a good sport and don’t take life too seriously.
Now I want you to do something, right now. Close your eyes, clear your mind, breathe in and breathe out slowly for a few seconds. Feel better!? Right! Finding yourself means relaxing and taking time for your own inner peace. It also means to be able to laugh at yourself. Don’t be the a**hole in the friends’ group who can’t take a joke or is offended by every little remarks made about him/her. Learn to be funny and laugh, don’t be oversensitive and over-dramatic. And the best way to not be offended or sad all the time is to get in the joke and learn to make fun of yourself. Be a good sport and don’t take life too seriously.
5. Honesty and Openness
When you are honest and open about yourself, others will do the same with you. We are all striving for perfection and in this world, well, newsflash – None of us are perfect. But the more you pretend to be perfect, the more you drown yourself in lies and away from achieving your true self. We all grow and learn and the best we can do is be honest with each other and help each other. Own up to your mistakes. Don’t just sit back and let the world decide for you, give your opinions and share what your mind is cooking. Do not be a bystander in your own life.
When you are honest and open about yourself, others will do the same with you. We are all striving for perfection and in this world, well, newsflash – None of us are perfect. But the more you pretend to be perfect, the more you drown yourself in lies and away from achieving your true self. We all grow and learn and the best we can do is be honest with each other and help each other. Own up to your mistakes. Don’t just sit back and let the world decide for you, give your opinions and share what your mind is cooking. Do not be a bystander in your own life.
6. Ignore Others’ Opinions of You
Those who live to see what others think about them are those who will never be fulfilled in life. If you ask the people around me to describe me in one word, you might hear “bossy”, “mean”, “weird”, “jealous”, “possessive”, and so much more. But do I care? Nope. What should matter the most is how you perceive yourself. If you see yourself as an independent, workaholic, and direct person and you are happy, then there’s nothing wrong about that. But if you don’t like the image you see of yourself, then you can always work on yourself, nod to number 3. Focus on yourself and your goals and do not let others’ cries for attention bother you. In the end, the opinions that really matter are the people who truly knows you and loves you for who you are.
Those who live to see what others think about them are those who will never be fulfilled in life. If you ask the people around me to describe me in one word, you might hear “bossy”, “mean”, “weird”, “jealous”, “possessive”, and so much more. But do I care? Nope. What should matter the most is how you perceive yourself. If you see yourself as an independent, workaholic, and direct person and you are happy, then there’s nothing wrong about that. But if you don’t like the image you see of yourself, then you can always work on yourself, nod to number 3. Focus on yourself and your goals and do not let others’ cries for attention bother you. In the end, the opinions that really matter are the people who truly knows you and loves you for who you are.
7. Learn to Say No
Finally, the last one and probably one of the most important. We are not robots programmed to say yes all the time. I have seen a lot of people having a hard time saying no just because they don’t want to disappoint the other person. Honestly, I wanna slap those people and ask them to wake the f**k up. Learn to say no! Put your inner peace and yourself first. If you don’t feel comfortable with something, then speak up before it’s too late. Make your voice heard and learn to take a step back. Saying no does not mean you hate the person, it only means you value yourself first and that’s how it should be.
Finally, the last one and probably one of the most important. We are not robots programmed to say yes all the time. I have seen a lot of people having a hard time saying no just because they don’t want to disappoint the other person. Honestly, I wanna slap those people and ask them to wake the f**k up. Learn to say no! Put your inner peace and yourself first. If you don’t feel comfortable with something, then speak up before it’s too late. Make your voice heard and learn to take a step back. Saying no does not mean you hate the person, it only means you value yourself first and that’s how it should be.
These are just some tips on how you can truly be
yourself. Being yourself is a long and sometimes hectic road and everyone has
different journeys. But the one thing we all have in common is we all have a
goal, and that is to be the best versions of ourselves. And it all starts in
how we treat each other and how we treat ourselves. So calm down, take a
deep breath, go out and start the journey of finding yourself.
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