Children of Broken Homes

Each year, over 50% of children will see their parents get divorced. Although this has become a normal thing today, it still has a great impact on the way the child grows into an adult. The separation of parents at a young age has drastic changes on the child's behaviors and affects their future relationships. Psychologists have been very interested in the state of mind of children of broken homes, and the results are quite alarming.

Some common issues the child might encounter are health problems. Asthma, headaches, and emotional turmoil are all part of the child's growing up. But one of the main problem is shyness. Children whose parents get divorced at a very young age become very shy and prefer not to express themselves. They go into their own little shell, fearing they might get hurt or judged if they show how they feel. All of this issue is accompanied with the guilt and shame that they carry. The guilt for thinking they are the reason for their parents splitting up and the shame to not be like all of their other friends with two parents.

Low self-confidence is also observed with children living with one parent. They become distant and live in their own little world. This is a coping mechanism for them as they feel they are better and happier in their own little universe that they created. They do not talk much and do not do much. They feel their best when they are alone and asleep. Depression, irrational fears and anxiety are also some drawbacks from seeing your parents getting divorced. Extreme cases can see the child having suicidal thoughts as well. But one of the main things observed is once the child starts living with one parent, they stop being a child. They have much more responsibility and they start taking care of their grieving parent, which is a huge burden on those little shoulders.

But the biggest problem the child faces is when it comes to relationships. Having seen their parents getting divorced, arguing, and fighting can affect their mind. The child grows up to understand that fighting and divorce is the ultimate end for all couples and this behavior reflects on their own personal relationships. They become distant, possessive, anti-social and does not give their all in any relationships, assuming that the relationship is doomed before it even starts. And this can prevent them from ever be truly happy in a relationship in the future. They build up a wall to "protect" themselves, not knowing that they are pushing everyone away from them. They have more positive attitudes towards divorce and are less open, affectionate and cooperative.

It is sad to note that when parents divorce, the kids are the ones who get affected the most. Their lives are forever changed and they become more distant with the reality. The best thing to do is for the parents to take care of their child at the beginning of the divorce process itself. The parents have a crucial role to play to ensure that the child's future is not affected and that they can continue to live their life normally.

Although the child will still have some issues growing up, the support and love that they receive from their parents will help them overcome some of these hurdles. It is also important for the parents to make the child feel loved, accepted and innocent. A child learns from the actions of their parents and it might be wise to encourage the child to be more open, to talk and share their thoughts more often. Communication is a power that can transcends any problems.